How Not to make Jamaican Easter Bun

  • easterbun
    Jamaican Easter Bun

    Read the recipe with only scant attention to the instructions.

What’s critical to get right, is the ingredients list

  • Substitute ingredients you’ve never used before with ingredients you’ve never used before

Becaaause … you got this …

  •  Pretend that you can read the small print on the yeast package.

How different can  Instant Yeast be from Active Yeast ?

  •  Guess at conversions from imperial to metric

A pound is roughly 500g is roughly 2 cups, right?

  • Read the instructions too quickly, under low light conditions, without your glasses.

Recipes are just guidelines anyways 

  • Ignore the instructions and do it your way.

Guidelines are for rookies

  • Do not use your heavy duty Kitchenaid Mix Master with a dough hook

Kneading bread is easy. People have been doing it from time immemorial. 

  • Knead five pounds of bread dough after two hours of physiotherapy on your right shoulder.

Physio is good. More physio must be better.

  • Think that after three hours of not proofing, the bread dough will magically raise in the oven.

It says so on the Internet 

  • Believe that even after baking into blocks of fruit studded concrete, the loaves will soften on cooling.

 It says so on the Internet, right after that proofing thing

  • Think it normal to have to use a Chinese cleaver to cut a loaf of bread.

A hammer and hacksaw ?  Now, that  would be too much

  • And if shards of bun splinter off the cutting board and blind the cat

… Blame the cat for sitting in the line of fire

 

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